MOM is WOW UPSIDE DOWN!!

 

Doris Hale, Maxine and Mom 1966

Mother-daughter relationships have been written about for centuries. They can be loving and turbulent at the same time. When two women share their Mom stories there is almost always understanding. Though we each have different feelings for our mothers and many are mothers ourselves, we get it!!

My Mother was a very special person. Raised by European immigrant parents, my mom, “Annie” as she was known to her dearest friends, was an incredibly smart and compassionate person. She was far smarter than most—graduating from high school at the age of 16. She worked in government service and had the good fortune to become the traveling secretary of choice for Eleanor Roosevelt during the early 40’s when Franklin was President. Mom was an excellent typist and took dictation faster than anyone. Her Gregg shorthand was impeccable. I have many pictures of Mom and the First Lady together at speeches and government events and my mother talked of the special confidence and relationship that they shared.

Eleanor had an impact on everyone she met and since my Mom was clearly guided by Mrs. Roosevelt’s politics and human caring, she impacted me as well though not directly.
When my Mom left government service to join my Dad in Florida after WWII, she took what she learned and applied it to raising her children and to her life’s work. Focused mainly on civil rights and the challenges of children with Down Syndrome my Mom set out to make the world a better place to be. She talked to me often about sharing with others and helping the less fortunate. It is my Mom that inspired our bearism, “It is better to gift than to receive.”

My Mom also had an enormous amount of friends and it is those friendships that had the most profound impact on my life and the friendships I have forged since childhood. Proudly, many of those friends are still friends today and best of all many of my Mom’s friends became my friends too. It is in this season of Mother’s Day (OK, I am a week late) that I want to say, Thanks Mom for teaching me the priceless value of friendship.

Many of my parent’s friends were friends that knew me from birth like my Aunt Tsip and Uncle Jake—they were our next door neighbors when I was born. They had two children close in age to my sister and me and so we stayed friends for life. In fact, my Aunt who is 93 is coming to St. Louis with her daughter Ellen and son in law Vern for her granddaughter Kate’s graduation from Wash U.

My mother’s closest friend was our next door neighbor in Coral Gables, Doris Hale and Doris was my second Mom. We were always very close even though she had 3 children and her husband Bruce who was the basketball coach at the University of Miami was a great second Dad. Our two families shared holidays, dinners out, trips to Dairy Queen and in more recent years some challenging times as well. Mr. Hale passed away in 1981 but Doris is still going strong at 90. She too will be coming to visit me next week and spend time with Aunt Tsip. You see one of the best traits my Mom had was sharing her friends with each other and so Doris and Tsip have been friends for many years too.

Aunt Tsip, Me and Doris May 21, 2010 Kate's Graduation Dinner

 

My Mom passed away in 1972 at the age of 56 when I was in my early 20’s and life has never quite been the same. I have had to imagine in many instances what my Mom’s advice would have been because she would have always been right (Mom’s are ALWAYS right—I do know that). Other times I can call  or email Aunt Tsip and Doris and ask them because they would help me interpret what Mom would have advised or at the very least, give me their version. It has never led me astray.

My girlfriends have also shared their Mom’s (and their daughter’s) with me too and that has been special. So like my Mom’s world mine is filled with friends young and old, wise and less experienced but each add value to my life in untold ways . My friend Elaine shared her Mom Elsie with me until she passed away and also her daughter Katie (my BABW inspiration)—so I have had the best of both worlds—a loving Mom and second Moms and Mom’s of my friends to help shape the person I am today.

Today Mom friendships are growing exponentially thanks to the web. I am friends with Moms of our BABW Guests from all over the world as well as Moms I have met on Facebook or Twitter or at speeches I have given around the country. The connection between two women is special and to all of you thanks for including me in your world. And while many of us have not yet met in person or met very briefly, you too help me be all I can be.  Happy belated Mother’s Day!

Hugs,
Maxine

HUGGABLE HEROES–WE NEED MORE!!

As a child I always looked up to my elders. Lucky for me there were many great leaders in my community that I could look up to…people that I saw as my heroes.

I often speak about my teachers. They are definitely my heroes. Little did I know at the time how heroic they were. They were always there for us and they always seemed like partners with our parents keeping us on the straight and narrow. Teachers were clearly in charge.

My mom, Annie K as she was known to most,  was my first hero. Talk about being for the underdog–my Mom was surely that. She wanted to help everyone that needed it and in her short 56 years (she died when I was 21), she did just that. Mom was a community organizer extraordinaire having been trained in community service by Eleanor Roosevelt. My Mom had the incredible opportunity to be one of Mrs. R’s preferred traveling secretaries. I have wonderful pictures that show Mom and Eleanor at work that are awesome. At the First Lady’s knee my Mom developed a special interest in helping children with Down syndrome then called Mongoloidism. She collaborated to create a school in Miami–the Hope School, where children were differently- abled, NOT disabled!

My Mom and Dad were both first generation Americans and their first heroic act was that they wanted more for my sister and me than they had. While we never seemed to want for much, we definitely didn’t have everything but honestly, I can’t remember missing too much. That’s not because I had that much but because I had what mattered..a loving family, one dog, one bike, one Barbie doll , one very full library card, and one special bear, Teddy.

Now talking about one bear when I am the CEB of a teddy bear making company may seem like heresy but in those days, there were not so many stuffed animals to choose from. Teddy didn’t have a heart inside or any cool clothes or shoes–he always was bearfoot 🙂 but he had my love and undying friendship. While I lost Teddy when I was 10, I have been looking for him ever since. (Teddy’s lost story will be told another time)

Teddy was my hero. He listened to my tales of woe about being a big sister (it was no fun) and he had to help me rehearse my speeches and help me practice how I was going to “sell” something to my parents and he never complained.  He seemed to soak it up and allowed me to see what was right or wrong myself. He never disagreed–we were truly kindred spirits.

When I created BABW I wanted to celebrate heroes, in as many ways as possible. One idea I wanted to do from the start was honor kids who made a difference in their communities through volunteer work. In essence, nurture the next generation of social entrepreneurs–the next Annie K’s of this world. We launched our Huggable Hero program in 2004 and it is grown exponentially ever since.

Bailey, Rachel, Talia, Jenna, Whitten, William, Zach, Warner, Heather,Welland–there are nearly 50 young community leaders that we have honored since 2004 and I am proud to say that they are all my friends. You can read about each of them in detail at : http://www.buildabear.com/aboutus/community/huggableheroes/default.aspx

You know another cool thing about our heroes? They can all look up to President Elect Obama who started out as a community volunteer and see that volunteering is a direct path to leadership. While I believe that one day one of these wonderful children will be President of the USA, you don’t have to be the elected leader of the free world to make a huge contribution to human and bearkind. You can be just like you or me, diving into what we do with passion and determination to leave the world a little better than we found it.

Our 2009 Huggable Hero recruiting campaign starts tomorrow, January 16, and I have a feeling with all the buzz about helping our communities and country we will have the best class of winners yet. In fact Monday, January 19th is Martin Luther King Day but it has also been declared a National Day of Service. Be a hero in your own town and make a difference. It feels un-bear-lieveable to help others!

Please pass on the info about our Huggable Hero search. Every winner receives a $7500 scholarship and $2500 for their charity and in today’s world that can go a long way to making life a little brighter too.

By the way, you have all commented on Milford our CED and given me so many suggestions for a shed-less dog, thank you! Below is a picture of one of our hero dogs at BQ–Willie. Willie was trained to be a Companion Dog but developed arthritis and couldn’t fulfill all the tasks so he now helps us at BABW and believe me he earns his keep being a GREAT dog. Maybe we should add dog heroes to our search next year.

 

Willie always has a smile on his face and is ready to help anyone.